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The Challenge Awaits… but will anyone join me?

I realized something painful the other day. I have spun into negativity and it is wearing off on my son. I used to be a glass half full kind of girl. I then became an “At least I have a glass” girl. But then, the glass shattered, and lately I have lost my way. I scan newsfeeds on Facebook and I see so much pain. So much sadness. So much anger. And it consumes me. I comment. “How DARE HE say that to you?” I am instantly sucked in. “She is such a ________”. I get pissed off when something happens and I post it. And I have become an “Excuser” I make excuses or blame the world. I rant on twitter or FB. Or call a friend. “What the front door was he thinking? That guy is a douche and because of his bad driving I am late”  (Because me leaving the house in no particular hurry had NOTHING to do with it, honest!)

Then I met a woman who gave me the inspiration to change. I was early to pick up my son from the halfway point between my moms and home. All I focused on was getting him and rushing home in time to watch my football game. I was annoyed with the fact we were cutting it so close to watching the game, not thinking about the fact my mom has not seen her grandson in 3 months.

I made great time, and as I came off the exit ramp of the highway I saw a much older lady (I later found out she was 73) trying to cross the very busy road with her arms laden with groceries. In my head I was thinking, she is going to get hit. So I did what any normal person SHOULD do but what probably 30 other people had not.  I stopped traffic and insisted she get in my van and let me drive her across the street. She would have had to cross a 6 lane road with people doing an average of 60 and 2 blind spots and a hill.  With people laying on their horns behind me I stopped and refused to move, until she got in. She refused at first. “Oh no dear, I am fine”  But I insisted.  I just knew in my gut if I did not pick this woman up, she would be on the news as a lost angel. I figured seeing my soccer madness (I coach and the backseat was full of ball bags and cone clutter), my yoga pants and messy hair, she decided I didn’t look like a murderer, and she got in. I asked her where she lived, and ended up taking her all the way home. She told me to leave her at the corner, and I told her I was taking her to the door.  I drove her into a neighborhood my friend KT told me I was insane to have been in. KT’s direct words were “Now I KNOW you are a crazy ass cracker redneck, who can handle herself like a hoodrat, but I don’t even go into that part of town, and I would fit in. You done lost your mind momma!”  And when I dropped her off she said something to me that really hit home. She told me she sometimes wondered if there is still good people with good hearts in the world. She knew there were, but lately everyone is so caught in their own lives, we seem to forget others are out there. And her daughter would never believe she was sent an angel. That hit me hard. I realized, she was right. She kept trying to pay me, asking if I needed anything. I told her to please just pay it forward. Do something kind for someone else. I realized, too, it was time for me to shift my thinking. I went into that day focused on rushing by. Instead, I need to slow down. And I need to focus on avoiding the negative. KT and I chatted as I worked my way back out of the neighborhood, and that is when we came up with a ten day challenge. I decided, with the two of us having such a great fanbase it was time to get others on board. So here is my challenge to you… (As posted to my Facebook Page)

Start a positive revolution with me! It’s officially the DAY. Our challenge will start today. (It’s 1 AM my time. Lets roll with it!) I have decided to start a mini-movement. Join me in the Mom-T for Drama Free for Positivity challenge! (Part 1, ten day challenge)

I am challenging my fans, all 9,459 of you (or the average 900 who actually see my posts) to go DRAMA and Negativity free and do positive things for the next 10 days. Its a hell of a lot harder than you might think. Because those every day annoyances can add up.

Rules and Parts of the Challenge:
1) No negative facebook postings/vents to friends/ commentary when life throws you lemons. Instead, try to find a way to make life take the lemons back. That guy in front of you is a brake happy asshat? He is slowing you down enough to see the cloud shaped like a bear giving a hug to a kitten. Kid spilled milk all over the kitchen table? Its a chance to show him/her responsibility and have them assist in cleaning it up, and at least your phone/laptop wasn’t in the puddle! Dog threw up in your shoes? Again? At least he is not eating them. Etc. And if the urge to vent comes, swallow it, and move on.

2) If someone posts drama, IGNORE IT. Do not comment. Do not LIKE. IGNORE AND MOVE ON. If someone tags you into drama, just remove the tag. And move ON.

3) Pay it forward EVERY SINGLE DAY during the challenge. Help an elderly person load their groceries into the car. Buy the next guy in line his Starbucks. Give to your local charity, or my personal favorite (my son did this once) Make smile face cards and hand them out to random people just to make their day a little better.

4) Write 3 REAL LETTERS and MAIL THEM in the US MAIL to a friend or relative. It can be someone you see all the time, or a lost relative. But send someone something that will brighten their day, besides a bill!

5) Disconnect time: Set aside at least ONE HOUR DAILY that is not time you would/should be sleeping to go wired free. NO internet. No cell phone, no distractions. Shut it down, read a book, play a game with your kids, visit a neighbor. Go for a walk. Meditate. But NO distractions! My time will be from 7 to 8 PM. If my friends who are on here catch me posting, liking, or commenting, call me out on it. 🙂

6) Reconnect time: Pick 4 people you have lost touch with and send them a note or give them an out of the blue call.

7) Spread the word- the more people you challenge to do this with you, the further this will reach. And the more people you will have to hold you accountable. So. If you are doing this with me, share it, and if you pledge to join me, comment below


The Importance of Handwashing (Rated PG13)

As a mom, we always have to push our kids to properly wash their hands.  I must remind my Hurricane about 20 times a day to wash up. And my  normal response from him is “But MOM! I am a boy! Boys are supposed to be grubby!” or “But MOM! All I did was pee! I hold my junk not rub my stuff!” I normally stifle peals of laughter at these statements then slap on the mom face and voice and tell him to wash up.  And we ALL know at least ONE hand washing tune. (♫♪♫♪Top and Bottom Top and Bottom, In Between, In Between, Rub those hands together, rub those hands together, now they’re clean, squeaky clean!!♪♫♪♫. To the tune of London Bridge or my personal favorite (To Shake my Sillies Out) ♫♪We gotta wash wash wash the germs away, wash wash wash the germs away, wash wash wash the germs away wash em down the drain. We gotta use the soap for lots of bubbles, use the soap and make lots of bubbles, use the soap and make lots of bubbles, wash those germs away, we gotta rinse, rinse, rinse the soap away, rinse rinse rinse the soap away, rinse rinse rinse the soap away now our hands are clean!♪♫♪♫)

I worked as a CNA for a few years, and taught preschool, and as a nanny I was an infant specialist. So I am a bit of a nut on the subject of hand washing. I even bought some of that special black-light powder to help show him how much he was missing when he washed.  Showed him how to scrape his nails around on his palms and really get in there. He has gotten really good at it. I, however, apparently need a refresher.

My husband has recently been diagnosed with major arthritis in his feet. Every night I help him elevate his feet, and on really bad nights I rub them a bit to help loosen the joints. Last week, he was having some major issues and was in worse pain than normal, so I decided to rub a small amount of Tiger Balm lineament on them. Now anyone who knows about Tiger Balm can tell you, its strong. Ridiculously strong. And THIS was the ULTRA strength. So I rubbed his feet, massaged in the balm, then hit the bathroom to wash my hands. I did the deep scrub, taking care to scrub well, because I know from just the smell, a little balm to the eye would probably feel like sticking a hot poker in my eye pretty rough.

About an hour went by,and I ran to the bathroom to pee. Flush. Wash. Rinse. Dry.  Return to bed. And suddenly it hit me. THERE. The most horrid awful burning mother of all that is holy hell in the world. Some of the ladies out there may have heard of a product called clitoral stimulator. A lot of those home fantasy party things sell it. It is basically a low dose of Icy Hot you put on your hoohoo and it is supposed to enhance your experience. A neat trick at those parties is to have a volunteer put a dab on, then spend the rest of the party having the rest of us laugh at her while she wiggles around in a Harlem Shake-esque fashion in her chair. But this. This was the worst sensation I had ever had. And I had a bad experience with a bikini wax once. I would gladly get that wax from hell again over this. Fellow blogger from over at Insane in the Mom-Brain had a similar run in, when Icy Hot migrated from a muscle pull to her hooha. So she may be one of the few who gets this first hand.

Tears sprung to my eyes as I ran for the bathroom. What in the holy hell just happened? How in the hell did I get Tiger Balm THERE? Oh sweet mother of god. The burning. Cold washcloth. Lots of soap. OH GOD its not getting any better. More water. More soap. Maybe a sitz bath. yeah. run cool water, sit down. Scream. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. More water. More soap. WHY can it not stop? How the hell long is this going to last? Are you serious? Pain relief for up to 6 hours? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!   How the f*** did this happen? I washed. Thoroughly. W. T. F. Aloe. YES. Aloe. No. O.M.G please make it stop. How could I possibly have gotten Tiger Balm THERE? OW I scratched myself. Wait…scratched mysel….

And that is when the offending party hit me. A fingernail. I keep my nails short, because I clean houses and work with kids. But I decided while On a job hiatus to grow them out.  I did the palm scrape. But apparently, it was not enough. So, after about an hour of scrubbing with cool wash cloths, which all went in the laundry to ensure no one got residue anywhere else, I scrubbed again with a nail brush. And then chopped them all off. And the next morning had a long talk with Hurricane where we practiced our hand washing again. Because (wiggling around) everyone can use a refresher. Someone pass me the soap.

I have a confession…you guys…

The best fans ever!

I have some of the greatest fans ever. I could not have made it this far without you guys. And I love the hell out of each and every one of you! ❤ Mom T

The beginning is going to be the end and a new begginning.

I started my adventures into blog and comedy writing in the land that is Facebook. I never really had the guts to do it, but SO MANY awesome friends and new blogger friends and connections came to me and asked me to give a FB page a go. So I did. Over 8,000 fans later I was living large. Enter corporations. Big companies found Facebook would be a great way with so many users to sell their brand. And in turn, they wanted to pay Facebook for the right to really expand. And it was going along WONDERFULLY. I still had my page, I had about 1500 views, I was still making people laugh, people think, people talk, gag, cry. Not all my “likers” but enough of them I felt confident. Then suddenly, a window pops up. Asking me if I want to PAY to promote my post. I panic, research and see false reassurances from Facebook telling me my fans still see me, I am still there, I do not have to pay, and I roll along in a little bubble of security. But after a couple of weeks, the bubble was popped. Views on my posts went from the 1500 range down to, on a really bad day, 48. Yes I just said FORTY EIGHT. My lowest viewed post since I started the page. Of 8,455 people, just 48 saw it. Because I did not want to pay. So, now, I am at a crossroads again. I guess this is the way the divine is telling me to focus on more serious writing, and to get the blog going full swing. And with so much ahead for me (going back to school, some life changes) I am guessing this will be a good place to come to an end and a beginning. I only hope some of my current 8,455 will come along with me. I’ll even be sure to bring some extra apple juice just in case. Welcome to my new world. 
❤ Mom T


in 5 to 7 Business days…My journey begins….

I am scared to death. But I am ready to face this. And for the first time ever, I do not feel alone.

I had considered trying a new workout plan and gone over so many with my nutrition counselor before they tried diagnosing my condition. (I have something similar to Crohn’s disease, but with enough differences NIH doctors want to know what makes me tick) I was looking at Yoga because of my nerve issues. I needed something low impact and I read about DDP Yoga.  But I shoved it aside and continued fighting through surgeries, job losses, losing my father and FIL in under a years time, more surgeries. Years of health issues have made me sedentary, inflexible, and just… well… FAT. I have been working so hard to change my life, and I see myself and see I can not show the change of who I am inside without taking the outside on.

All the downtime and the lack of energy and strength made me sad. I found inspiration in humor, and I started my own Facebook page (where many of you follow me and my co-admin) when others told me to try. I am a writer, but I was scared to death. Who would want to hear what I have to say?  But, I have found myself with a new network of support, thanks to the social outlet of Facebook. Over 7000 people have decided to “follow” me.

I regained confidence in my personality, but I still hate how I look on the outside. I posted a photo of myself on my fan page, after almost a year of hiding in the shadows like the Wizard. It was a big day when I showed all my “followers” who I am, I was shocked at the support. I felt so much better about myself. And I also realized it was time to make a drastic and dramatic change. Enter Monday night Raw.

I had forgotten about DDP and the program. When he made the appearance on the show I was motivated to look again. And suddenly it hit me. Looking at the videos and seeing all the people who were wearing the gear for the program.
The main focus of the program is not “lose weight”. It is not “get skinny while I make millions” It is this….


I have NOT been owning my life. My life has been owning me. I watched the videos and when I saw Stacey’s transformation, I was able to set my mind fully. Her first part of her video struck such a cord with me. I too,became the names.

Something I wrote during a bad thunderstorm the night I decided to take control of my life again…

A song says “I’m on the outside looking in” and that is how I feel
Losing me, inside of myself, I do not know what of me is real.
What I see in the mirror is not who I am, I want to know who that person could be. Time for me to step up in my life, time to return to ME.
I have proven myself a survivor, risen from the ashes again and again.
Now I need to be stronger, find something lost deep within.
Somewhere within the folds of this skin, under the scars and the pain,
I am still in here somewhere, time to find myself again, wash it away with the rain.  I have found myself in a place of success, and been supported like never before. All I have to do right now is put my feet on the ground and dare to open the door.

My wonderful husband is being my biggest supporter. My anniversary gift from him? DDP Yoga was ordered for me, because I am not working right now and did not want to buy it til I found another job. And he will be doing it with me on occasion, because it is DDP. So here we go…journey to a new me starts now. I hope I can do this! No wait. I KNOW I CAN DO THIS. I am OYL, no water or rain of sadness and lifes little dramas will bring me down.

©Momtroversial 2012/ NPR072312733A

Life As a Scale

I am a Libra.  As a Libra I am often drawn to the scales.  I have realized in many ways, life is a scale. Each and every event or action in your life affects its balance.  You can not live a perfect, balanced life, unless you experience both success and failure. You can not have a balanced love if you have not experienced the pain that often comes along with it.

Life as a scale is kept in balance with a series of memories and dreams. Each memory and dream or wish for the future is a weight that gets added on to one side or the other. Negative and positive.

When I found out my father was dying, I had to face that scale head on. The good times and happy memories were overshadowed and outweighed dramatically by the bad times and the harsh realities of life.  I had been through a lot with my father, I had a great childhood but my teen years were very rocky. He had no idea how to raise a teenage daughter. And with my mom working all the time, I felt like had no one to turn to many times.  In college, I made some stupid decisions, which he gave me a “told you so” attitude on. Once I got married (‘to someone not good for me’) and became a parent, he was constantly telling me I was doing it wrong. ALL I could see was that scale was sliding to the negative.  And at one point, I even found myself saying, I wished the cancer would do its job faster.

When I said those words aloud, I was smacked in the face. Literally, by a good friend of mine. She reached up and bitch slapped me like I have never been smacked before. Even left a hand print on my face. I was a scrapper as a teen, and my normal reaction would have been to lay her out. But I was in utter shock.  After I was able to regain my speech, I asked her what the fuck she had done that for. Her explanation was simple.

I would regret saying it. If she had had the chance to get her mother back for even 5 minutes, she would be happy. Because it would give her a chance to say all that was left unsaid.

Her mother had passed away about 4 years prior. She explained, at first she had no regrets. Her mom had been horrible to her in her early childhood and teen years. But, she found herself missing her mother every day. I did not understand why, and she told me,  after she had children of her own, she found herself doing things with the kids her own mom had done with her. Happy things.  She also found herself parenting her daughter in a completely different manner. She was more positive.  She began to see, the power of a negative thought can be so much stronger than the power of a positive one. I ruminated on this for days after our talk. It was hard not to think about it with a sore jaw.  I had a revelation. I would sit down with my father and talk to him. Try to release those negative thoughts.

The bad side of my life scale was being added on to by resentment, regret, anger, fear, repression. I was going to calmly and nicely tackle those head on before he died!  On a visit down to see him, before I was quite ready, he challenged my parenting style one time too many and I SNAPPED. It all came down to feelings.  Those emotions took on a whole new meaning for me. I opened my mouth. I told him every last thing that had ever been on my mind.  How if made me feel to be in good shape but be told I was fat. To get on A/B honor roll and be asked why I did not get all A’s. And more intimate arguments I won’t air out in a blog.  He offered me a glimpse into his childhood I never knew before then. And I realized why he chose to raise me the way he did. The balance shifted. It was not how I intended to approach him. In the end it was a raw, emotional experience. But it hurt about the same as that slap in the face had!

Once you put FORGIVENESS, love, strength, accomplishment, and openness on the side with the happy memories, even if few and far between, the scales become balanced and the weight of your life just…slips away.  I found that happiness and joy far outweighed  those negative emotions once I was able to let them go.

Be thankful every day, no matter what, for the people and the experiences you have had in your life. No matter WHAT the outcome, without that past, you would not be who you are choosing to be, nor do you have the same future.  Sometimes the scales slide out of whack. But without that past and without some forgiveness, I would not have the most important things in my life. I would not have experienced a life worth living IN not just for. I would not have my husband, my son. My entire world. Thanks for reading.

Famous Quote: Resentment is like taking poison yourself and waiting on the other person to die…

Life is and other $#!+

Life is what you make of it,(right)?  Every cloud has a silver lining, but the sun will come out tomorrow. (But once the sun comes out the cloud goes away, and so does the lining)  Every dog has its day and the grass is always greener. (Unless that dog has his day on your lawn. Then the grass is green with urine burns) But you can not get mad because DOG is a man’s best friend. Misery loves company. (So dogs are misery…I guess after they ruin the lawn that would make sense.) But we love our dogs in spite of the misery. And ALL we need is that love. If all we need is love, and all’s fair in love and war, we need war to have love, right?  And both love AND money make the world go round. But money is the root of all evil. (So evil makes the world work and love and money are the same thing. I think I  GOT it.)

Oh and let us NOT forget that time is money, and people have money to burn. (Meaning we can burn time. That one makes sense. Enter the inventions of the internet and even more specifically, Facebook.)

I am sure that one gave you a chuckle, and I am so glad because laughter is the best medicine, and a spoonful of sugar helps that medicine go down. (So next time you are taking your kid to get vaccinations make them laugh like a maniac and fill em full of sugar before the appointment) Sometimes you need to give someone a taste of his own medicine. (So doc, after you give my kid all those shots hand me the needle) But doctors are saving lives. Those doctors are worth their weight in gold! (So that means yesterday they were  worth 1650 but today is only worth 1645) And there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, which is ‘as good as gold’. (So its a pot of him and should be as good as gold. I would rather have the money?) Silence is golden. (Meaning silence should cost about 1650 which explains WHY my son never shuts up)

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