I said unplug the razor and let go of the cat….

There are a million things as a mom you say, but never in a million years could make yourself believe came out of your mouth. I saw a commercial for these things on NickMom.com. Which, by the way, is the best thing to ever come out of Nickelodeon. I am even putting that about What Would You Do? and Clarissa Explains it ALL. Yep. CLARISSA. I went there. But I digress… I started to think of my own oddities since becoming a mom. Here is a little top ten for you of things I can not believe I have said as a mom. (And remember, I am a professional nanny, with groups of kids up to 11. I saw it all. Or so I thought)

10. Just because it is orange like a carrot does not mean you can eat it.
9. We pee on trees OUTSIDE of the house, NOT in Aunt Myrtles living room.
8. Take that (insert random object) out of your (insert any random orafice) RIGHT NOW!
7. Please do not pee in the air ducts again.
6.The cat is NOT a chew toy…The dog is not either!
5. Where exactly is our goldfish again? What do you mean you were playing Jonah?
4. The cat does NOT need a haircut! I said NO! Now unplug the razor and let go of the cat!
3. Apologize for telling the lady her boobs were on the wrong way!
2. Apologize  for telling the man his head looked like your Mr. Potatohead!

1.Stop playing and start pooping!

Advertisements

About momtroversial

I am a mom who often parents in ways that are considered too old fashioned or too unconventional. My husband went through a major mental health breakdown and took me on the roller coaster with him. At some point we will get off this damn ride. I recently went through a series of life altering events that have made me re-think my whole outlook on life. I am trying to be the kind of mom my work as a career nanny should have prepared me for but it does not always work. I hope to impact the lives of others that I KNOW are living with the same fears, hopes, dreams, anger, pain, joy, and more. Suicide and ink and children and life. That's about it. View all posts by momtroversial

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: