There are a million things as a mom you say, but never in a million years could make yourself believe came out of your mouth. I saw a commercial for these things on NickMom.com. Which, by the way, is the best thing to ever come out of Nickelodeon. I am even putting that about What Would You Do? and Clarissa Explains it ALL. Yep. CLARISSA. I went there. But I digress… I started to think of my own oddities since becoming a mom. Here is a little top ten for you of things I can not believe I have said as a mom. (And remember, I am a professional nanny, with groups of kids up to 11. I saw it all. Or so I thought)
10. Just because it is orange like a carrot does not mean you can eat it.
9. We pee on trees OUTSIDE of the house, NOT in Aunt Myrtles living room.
8. Take that (insert random object) out of your (insert any random orafice) RIGHT NOW!
7. Please do not pee in the air ducts again.
6.The cat is NOT a chew toy…The dog is not either!
5. Where exactly is our goldfish again? What do you mean you were playing Jonah?
4. The cat does NOT need a haircut! I said NO! Now unplug the razor and let go of the cat!
3. Apologize for telling the lady her boobs were on the wrong way!
2. Apologize for telling the man his head looked like your Mr. Potatohead!
1.Stop playing and start pooping!