You know you have a boy when…

I love my son, and I always thought when I talked about having kids, I would want one of each. One girl, one boy. I was a giant tomboy so I get the sports thing, I get fishing, and climbing trees and more. But I was not quite prepared for the hilarity of actually HAVING a boy. The moments like the one I shared with Holdin Holden and black fuzzy junk (You can read about this epic moment here : are just the tip of the fart covered, snot nosed, grubby handed, weeds as flowers, awesomeness that comes from having a boy. I have found matchbox cars in the fridge. Army men doing recon in the fruit bowl, the shower, my shoe. But this morning, yes, this morning was the epitome of crazy boy conversations.

Hurricane was getting ready for school, and I could NOT get him to stay on task. Finally I offer to race him. He loves competition so I figure there is no way I can have the breakfast mess clean before he washes his face and gets dressed. After 15 minutes of cleaning, still no sign. So, like any good mom I scream “We have to leave in TEN MINUTES WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?”, and I hear…silence.

Any mom knows…silence means sleeping, dead, or in trouble. So I finished packing his lunch and head up to find him. As I am walking up the stairs, I yell out, “Hurricane? Where are you dude? Are you dressed yet?” He yells back “MOM! I am in the bathroom. Come in here and check out my pistol!” YES. You read that right. Check. Out. My. Pistol. So…being the totally amazingly mature adult I am, I broke into peals of laughter. In the meantime I hear “MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM. What is so funny? I just want you to check out my pistol!” So I cautiously open the bathroom door, fully expecting my non bashful son to be standing there a la Magic Mike. Instead I see he is holding a pistol. Carefully crafted out of all black and grey Legos. Which he built while taking a poop. Legos on the toilet. Some kids would go for a book, but whatever works. Now a car ride to school to figure out how to explain why “looking at his pistol” was so hilarious. 😉


About momtroversial

I am a mom who often parents in ways that are considered too old fashioned or too unconventional. My husband went through a major mental health breakdown and took me on the roller coaster with him. At some point we will get off this damn ride. I recently went through a series of life altering events that have made me re-think my whole outlook on life. I am trying to be the kind of mom my work as a career nanny should have prepared me for but it does not always work. I hope to impact the lives of others that I KNOW are living with the same fears, hopes, dreams, anger, pain, joy, and more. Suicide and ink and children and life. That's about it. View all posts by momtroversial

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